I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
