Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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