ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
