It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
