Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Even my vagina gasped.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
