She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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