AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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