Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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