you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
