also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
