I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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