i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
