Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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