who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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