Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
zippers are such a cool invention
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
