ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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