no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He uses pillows to masturbate.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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