Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
honey bunches of taint.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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