yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You ruined the universe
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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