I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize