Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
