Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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