She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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