Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
don't judge my taste in strippers
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
