I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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