upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
