Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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