Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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