I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
