Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
