Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
