9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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