do herpes really smell.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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