k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
