Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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