I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
