she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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