I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
