Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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