ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
