Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
