My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
