Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
babies were throwing up all over the place
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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