The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
even my farts smell like vagina
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She bit a glass in half.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
