I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
