Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
