I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My feet surprised me
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