We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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