he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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