My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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