Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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