Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
