so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
