So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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