Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just gift wrapped bread.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
