Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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