it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
