remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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