I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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