Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
