I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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